so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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