So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
