but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
