Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
