it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
