gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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