the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
