when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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