He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
