you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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