I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have post one night stand depression
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