So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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