you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
