Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
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I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
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I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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