So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
