I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
