Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
