everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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