Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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