Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
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I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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