I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
