Pants 0. Shit 1.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
