I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
