Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
