Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
