I smell stomach acid.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Your cock deserves a montage
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize