The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
