Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Mom said you looked used
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
