You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
