i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
