So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
