i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
