ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
