i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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