That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
