Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
