We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
