Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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