Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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