Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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