I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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