Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
