I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
