dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
