Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
