why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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