a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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