The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
