Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
