They have a pepper shaker for pot.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
His nipple licking is glorious
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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