that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
