She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
