god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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