singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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