fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
