So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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