that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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