put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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